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Friday 29 March 2024
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Are You In A Physical or Abusive Relationship ?

Are You In A Physical or Abusive Relationship ?

Warning signs of an Abusive Relationship

  1. Quick involvement in a relationship
  2. Extreme Jealousy
  3. Controling behavior
  4. Threats of Violence
  5. Abrupt mood changes
  6. Verbal Abuse
  7. Breaking Objects
  8. Use of Force during Argument
  9. History of past battering

Men and women who batter or otherwise abuse their partners are dangerous. Those who misuse power to intimidate, confuse, entrap, or otherwise control or dominate their partners are not only capable of, but are also prone to escalate in their controlling and abusive behaviors over time. At any given moment, an abuser can repeat a pattern of physical violence or become physically violent for the first time. Under any number of circumstances, physical violence can reach the point where it results in serious injury or even death.

 

Research is being done to better understand and predict when a batterer will seriously injure or kill his/her partner. “The presence of certain risk factors in greater number and intensity are suggestive of potential for life threatening violence, but there is no way to accurately and consistently predict or prevent dangerous behavior.

The best predictor of danger is, in fact, each individual persons intuition. follow your gut feelings.

Paying attention to feelings of fear or apprehension can provide information that is more pertinent and more reliable than any other source.

 

Knowledge and insight about risk factors and dangerousness equips individuals to make choices that promote safety. 

Risk Factors to watch for:

1. History of violence against partner, children, or others. A history of physical violence is one of the best predictors of future physical violence.

2. Recent escalation of physical or sexual violence, and/or verbal threats.

3. Threats of homicide or suicide. The batterer (abuser) who has threatened to kill himself, his partner, the children, or her relatives must be considered extremely dangerous.

4. Fantasies of homicide or suicide. The more the batterer has developed a fantasy about who, how, when, and/or where to kill, the more dangerous he may be. The batterer who has previously acted out part of a homicide or suicide fantasy may be invested in killing as a viable solution to his problems. As in suicide assessment, the more detailed the plan and the more available the method, the greater the risk.

5. Weapons. When a batterer possesses weapons and has used them or has threatened to use them in the past in his assaults on the battered woman, the children, or himself, his access to those weapons increases his potential for lethal assault.

6. Ownership of the battered partner. The batterer who says “Death before divorce!” or “You belong to me and will never belong to another!” may be stating his fundamental belief that the woman has no right to life separate from him. A batterer who believes he is absolutely entitled to

7. Centrality of the partner. A man who idolizes his female partner, or who depends heavily on her to organize and sustain his life, or who has isolated himself from all other community, may retaliate against a partner who decides to end the relationship.

8. Separation violence. When a batterer believes that he is about to lose his partner, if he can’t envision life without her or if the separation causes him great despair or rage, he may choose to

9. Depression. When a batterer has been acutely depressed and sees little hope for moving beyond the depression, he may be a candidate for homicide and suicide. Research shows that many men who are hospitalized for depression have homicidal fantasies directed at family

10. Access to the battered woman and/or family members. If the batterer cannot find her, he cannot kill her. If he does not have access to the children, he cannot use them as a means of access to the battered woman. Careful safety planning and police assistance are required for those times when contact is required; e.g., court appearances and custody exchanges.

11. Repeated outreach to law enforcement. Prior calls to the police indicate elevated risk of life threatening conduct. The more calls, the greater the potential danger.

12. Escalation of batterer risk. A less obvious indicator of increasing danger may be the sharp escalation of personal risk undertaken by a batterer. When a batterer begins to act without regard to the legal or social consequences that previously constrained his violence, chances of lethal assault increase significantly.

13. Hostage taking. Prohibiting movement, false imprisonment, or actual hostage taking.

14. History of drug/alcohol use.

 

 

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Domestic Violence Resources

Click Here

Should I stay or Go ?

Why Does He Do That:

inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

The Verbally Abusive Relationship

The Gift of Fear:

Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence

Victory Over Verbal Abuse


Splitting :

Protecting yourself while Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy

When Violence Begins at Home:

A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Ending Domestic Abuse

A Troubled Marriage:

Domestic Violence and the Legal System

The Domestic Violence Sourcebook

You Can Be Free:

An Easy to read HandBook for Abused Woman